Tuesday, May 18, 2010

The Force

When a woman gives birth, her body begins producing milk to feed her baby. The milk is all the baby needs for nutrition.  The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding exclusively for 6 months, and continuing to breastfeed while supplementing with solids for a year and beyond, if mutually
agreeable (the video we watched in the hospital actually used that phrase, "mutually agreeable."  Queers.).  Breastfeeding can act as a natural birth control, suppressing ovulation.  Breastfeeding releases a hormone that contracts the uterus, reducing it back to its pre-pregnancy size.  Breastfeeding burns 500-
800 calories a day, using the mother's ample fat stores, and helping her get back to a fit fighting weight so she can take care of a child.  I think all this is somewhat magical, another example of the beauty of evolution.  Far be it from me to question nature's perfect design, but I have a suggestion: in addition to being supplied with the perfect means to nourish a new human being, I would like telekinesis.  I have to sit still for 30 minutes at a time while nursing, and sometimes I forget to fill my water glass, or the remote
is out of reach, so if I could get the power to move things with my mind, that'd be great.

On an unrelated note, it smells seriously sausagey in my neighborhood.  Maybe my nose is extra sensitive because I haven't been outside in a week, like when you go spelunking, but when I stepped outside this afternoon, it was like kielbasa korner out there.

1 comment:

  1. Noted. Yeah, lactation people will say that it is a natural birth control, but everyone is also careful to mention not to rely on it. We not taking any chances. I'm not trying to hear that noise.

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