Potent Potables

 

Matt's parents got us the above-pictured tribute to America mug.  As you can see, it features a scary eagle and a painting of veterans of all branches of the military.  The text reads, "If you love your freedom, thank a veteran," and, "It is the VETERAN not the REPORTER who has given us FREEDOM OF THE PRESS.  It is the VETERAN not the CAMPUS ORGANIZER who has given us FREEDOM TO ASSEMBLE," and so on.  My in-laws intended for us to put it on our mantle.
This is my all time favorite mug.  It is even better than my West Wing mug, which features a photo of the cast from Season 4, with Rob Lowe and Joshua Malina.  I love the mug, not for it's message (I think the mug glosses over some Constitutional nuance), but for it's patriotic size.  It holds twice as much volume as my law school mug, and perhaps its message speaks at twice the volume as any legal arguments I shall ever make.  

I use 8 heaping tablespoons of course ground coffee in my 32 ounce french press, add boiling water, and let it steep for for 10 minutes, or as long as Temple the tyrant allows me to be in the kitchen before summoning me.  I add two Splenda.  Yes, the plural of Splenda is Splenda, not Splendae.  Contrary to the theories of many modern etymologists, Splenda's linguistic roots are Germanic, and not Latin.  It's like "a moose" and "many moose."  Co-incidentally, "many moose," is what I would be if I didn't use Splenda.  I also add a splash of almond milk.  I used to use soy milk, but I have been learning about the evils of Monsanto, who own the genetic code for the soy bean, so I have switched choice of pretentious coffee lightener to almond milk.  Thank you, whole Foods.

You may think 32 ounces of coffee in the morning would be enough for me, but if you think that, you are wrong.  I knew my hot cup of almondy sludge was missing something, but I don't have an espresso maker, and crack is illegal and unhealthy.  When I was at Target, I saw it: General Foods International Coffeehouse Beverage Mix.  

Like Proust's madeleines, the sight of this tin of naturally and artificially flavored coffee drink brought back memories of my youth.  I drank the crap out of this stuff in high school.  I kept it, loosely covered, in a private corner of the senior lounge, where it was enjoyed my me and ants.  We had a heating coil, like grannies use, and I would heat the water I got from the bathroom tap in an insulated Georgetown travel mug that was never once washed.  I glugged down my international delight in the morning, and maintained a nice buzz all day.  I would frequently get through seven hours of school and a two hour sports practice on little else.  I now put a heaping scoop of the creamy concentrated coffee in my huge bowl of joe.  The first time I made the concoction, I actually got coffee sick, which hasn't happened in months.  It was glorious.  I've had it every day this week, and it is the second best part of waking up.  The first is, of course, my Temple.